We have to ask...
Are you 21 or older?
⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Fort Lauderdale Flower House

⚠️ This dispensary does not exist.

Fort Lauderdale's second imaginary dispensary, this one river-facing and art-forward, serving the boating community with fictional indica and pretend sativa.

77 New River Fiction Road, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33315
954-555-1717 (not a real number)
Mon-Sat 10am-9pm, Sun 11am-6pm (imaginary hours)

Products at This Fake Store

Palmetto Wedding Cake
Flower / Hybrid
THC 28.5%
$55.00 / 1/8 oz
Artisan Wedding Cake from Palmetto Craft Cannabis. Dense, trichome-frosted im...
by Palmetto Craft Cannabis
Palmetto Hybrid Permanent Marker
Flower / Hybrid
THC 31.0%
$60.00 / 1/8 oz
Permanent Marker genetics crossed with Palmetto Hybrid House's Florida imagin...
by Palmetto Hybrid House
Palmetto Tangie Sativa
Flower / Sativa
THC 20.0%
$39.00 / 1/8 oz
Tangie from Palmetto Craft, bursting with citrus as only a Florida coastal br...
by Palmetto Craft Cannabis
Gulf Coast Rosin Badder
Concentrate / Rosin
THC 71.0%
$68.00 / 1g
Whipped rosin badder from the Panhandle press. Silky imaginary texture from s...
by Panhandle Rosin Press
Palmetto Baked Brownie
Edibles / Baked Good
THC 18.0%
$20.00 / 1 brownie
Classic imaginary cannabis brownie from Palmetto Baked Goods. Dense, fudgy, a...
by Palmetto Baked Goods Co
Palmetto Pre-Roll Indica
Pre-rolled Joints / Regular
THC 21.5%
$11.00 / 1g pre-roll
Palmetto Collective's standard indica pre-roll, sourced from five fictional F...
by Palmetto Pre-Roll Collective
Palmetto Infused Hybrid
Pre-rolled Joints / Infused
THC 31.0%
$24.00 / 1g pre-roll
Palmetto Collective's infused hybrid cone, dipped in fictional wax from five ...
by Palmetto Pre-Roll Collective

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Florida:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.
⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️